Yup, you read that right. I know there are millions of you that hate cops, and there are millions of you that love them. I’ve given it a lot of thought and realized the haters have a point. I mean seriously, in 1962 John F. Kennedy decided to set aside an entire week to honor them? A whole week!? Thousands of people descend on Washington, DC and snarl traffic for events all week. Whew, glad I don’t live there, traffic’s bad enough already.
Luckily, my town isn’t one of the thousands across the country that hold events for Police Officers this week, one more thing I don’t need to feel badly about missing.
To help everyone out, I’ve come up with a pretty valid list of reasons why you shouldn’t care about honoring Police Officers. I’ll be honest with you, no matter what side of the camp you’re on, I think you’ll see my logic. Whether or not I agree with your logic, that’s a different story.
1. Trying to ruin your day - “Some a$$hole cop was hiding under a bridge and gave me a $200 speeding ticket. If it weren’t for him, I would have been here on time!”
2. Constantly saving other people’s lives – “Get your hands off me! I’m going to kill the b!tch!!”
3. Filthy – They are constantly spit, vomited and bled upon. Gross!
4. Always late – “I called 10 minutes ago! You couldn’t have gotten here before my drunk husband got home?!”
5. Enjoy destroying private property – “He tried to serve me a warrant so I slammed the door. It’s not my fault his body got caught in it! I want the city to pay for what he did to my door!”
6. Love picking fights – “Yeah, I punched the pig. He was trying to arrest me!”
7. Never there for their kids – While their kids are at school play, baseball practice or at home with the flu, they are out searching for your lost child, mother, daughter, son, brother, etc. And when their kids are lying in bed at night asking their Mom/Dad if the “bad guys are going to kill Daddy/Mommy”, they’re out dodging bad guys.
8. …or their wives – When they do go out with their wives/husbands, they sneak out the back door and leave them alone because they just saw a gang member/ recent arrest/ snitch/ etc. walk in the front door. They doesn’t want them to know who their family is. B@stard.
9. In everyone’s business - they show up to accidents, rapes, assaults, homicides, thefts, missing persons calls, domestics, loose dogs, noises in your basement, weird smells coming from the other apartment, noise complaints, late night parties – any reason another human annoys you and any time someone needs help. Call the police, they’ll stick their nose where it doesn’t belong.
10. Not environmentally conscious – A Police Officer dies in the line of duty every 53 hours. Think of how many trees they waste on coffins.
What can you do to show you agree with the above?
Thank a cop. You don’t have to walk up to him/her and thank him literally, there are other ways. Obey the speed limit. Respect the law. Let them do their jobs.
Most importantly? Teach your children to respect them. If you don’t agree with the law, take it up with the courts, not the police. They didn’t make the laws, they are simply trying to keep your crazy neighbor with the shotgun from stealing your prized coin collection and threatening to blow your head off when you want it back. Why? Because that’s the law.
By now I hope you have figured out that you should care about Police Week. If you are reading this and you are an officer or their family, I wish you all the safety in the world and the knowledge that you are not alone. We are grateful for all that you do and the sacrifices you make. When I wake in the night and realize my husband is late coming home from his shift, I am praying he, and everyone else like him, gets home safely. Godspeed to you all.
Gotta go, some guy wants me to go buy some steaks with his tax money so he can feed his family. Apparently, I’m supposed to donate my husband’s paycheck since nothing ever happens in his neighborhood…